May. 2nd, 2010

OK.

May. 2nd, 2010 10:09 pm
I haven't posted in nine months.

OK.

I haven't posted because I ended the romantic relationship I was in for difficult but good reasons, but have lacked (and continue to lack) the language and space to talk about that.

OK.

I haven't posted because I have had to take several trips for work that landed me in places that were very bad for my mental health and took about a month each to get over.

OK.

I haven't posted because FUCK. GRAD SCHOOL. FUCK.

OK.

I haven't posted because like some people have spoons, I have a limited number of words, and they've been used for more critical things, namely communicating properly at work and focusing on breaking down some of the privilege I've got and putting the pieces together in a better way.

OK.

But mostly I haven't been posting because I've been undervaluing my thoughts and the value of just putting it out there and not having to have finished thoughts or sentences.

So I'm going to work on that a little. I just finished a project I set for myself in April, with flying colors. So here's the new project. Not this week (which is a production week for me, so...yeah nothing but that!) but next, I will post some snippet of things I've been thinking about, without overediting, without polishing every last corner, and without shame. Seven days. Seven entries.

It'll be OK.

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